Welcome to the Sanchez Family. We are a God loving, church going, unconditional loving, Army family of three wild and crazy boys and one 100 pound english bulldog, taking it one day at a time. I'm the mom, the only girl in the house, and the Queen. Hang on tight, it's sure to be a wild ride!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Conflicted thoughts

I am always proud to be an army wife.  I am proud of my husband and the job he does.  I have never felt emotions like I felt that early morning in September 2006 when the 101st 3rd Brigade Combat team entered that hanger, not even at the birth of my children.  My children know there daddy is an American soldier.  Zachary understands it more than the little ones, but they all know what that uniform means.  Yesterday after I received the call from my father in law that they had killed bin Laden I think I was numb for awhile.  I went upstairs and told my husband, we turned on CNN, and I saw that look in his eyes and it shook me to my core.  I know that now my husband's job is a recruiter.  That means long hours and stressful days but it also means that he will be in my bed at night.  It is a trade off I will gladly accept on most days.  I also know that his first job is in combat arms, and I also know that it is a job he loves.  We are less than one year away from completing this recruiting mission and now comes the time to decide what we would like to do next in the army.  That could mean extending, moving to another unit, going back active duty, or many other things.  I was, up until last night, ok with going back active duty.  I have now changed my mind.  I will take the long hours and stressful days now for sure.  I also know that Cesar needs to do what he loves and that might mean another deployment, a move or a combination of both.  I will follow my soldier anywhere.

I have been thinking long and hard about what to tell my kids about this day.  The little ones are too young to understand and Zachary is too young to know what happened September 11, 2001.  I feel that it is important to record this event for them.  They have a daddy who fought in this war and numerous "uncles" who have too.  I want them to know that it was for a good cause.  I want them to also know that revenge is not what we are taught in the Bible but that is what happened on this day.  I want them to know that Osama bin Laden was a terrible man who hurt thousands of people and that he got his just reward when he was shot in the head.  It is a thin line I am walking here.  There are two verses in the Bible that have come to mind in light of this historic day.  They are both very different and I am not enough of a Bible scholar to know which one is appropriate.  Proverbs 11:10 says "When it goeth well with the righteous, the city rejoiceth; and then the wicked perish [there is] shouting".  Proverbs 24:17 says "Do not rejoice when your enemy falls.  Do not let your heart be glad".  I want my children to be proud of this moment.  I want them to be proud their daddy had a hand in this while he was there.  I do not want them thinking that killing people is right, or that revenge is the way to go.  What do I say?  I am still thinking about that.  I am conflicted about it myself.  The celebrations in the streets sickens me in a way.  A huge part of me thinks that celebrating the death of a man is wrong.  Another part of me is relieved that he is dead and my children will not grow up in a world terrorized my bin Laden anymore.  This has been rough for me.
I will do some more thinking of what to tell the kids and how to make sure that, when they are old enough, they will understand what an important day this was in American history.  Any thoughts?

1 comment:

mother wife full-time worker said...

It is a very difficult topic, moment and feelings all rolled upp in one. I would be true to yourself, GOD and your husband and the greatness that the service men of this country has done for us - especially your little boys. Being proud isn't what is right or wrong but believing in those that you care for and love. Good luck with this and at the end of the day be proud of what ever you chose to do.