I'm back....... Yes I know it's been almost a month and I am a bad blogger. I do love it but it seems like everything else is getting in the way. Funny, that seems to be my excuse for everything lately, the messy house, the piled up laundry, the lack of home cooked meals. These things really don't bother me. I can live with toys all over and dishes in the sink. I have enough clothes that I feel the laundry can wait. I am just as picky of an eater as my kids so nuggets and fries always sound good to me! However my husband is a totally different story as you will read below!
I could go on and on. I feel overwhelmed and I am not sure what to do about it. I guess I should change that, I WAS not sure what to do about it, after this mornings message at church I am now ABSOLUTELY sure what to do.
I attend MOPS, or Mothers of Preschoolers, at a great church on Friday mornings. I love the fellowship with other Moms, and my kids love playing with new friends and learning about Jesus.
We had a guest speaker on Friday and she gave her testimony. I loved it. She sang some songs, a couple country!, and told us how she got closer to Christ. I have been thinking about what she said, about how just being obedient to God did not mean your were automatically going to be blessed. You had to sacrifice some things and leave your worldly life to follow him. Now I listened, at least I thought I did. It impacted me a little but I think I was ignoring God. He must have really wanted to drive home the thought to me so He had Pastor talk about it this morning again. He knows me well enough to know I don't always get it the first time!
I am sitting in the cafe at church; we usually enjoy church there, it's easier on my husband who seems to fall asleep at the drop of a hat, and Pastor Diego starts talking about sacrifice. I thought to myself I have heard this message before, I told you it usually takes me a minute. I am really listening and following a long in my Bible and I promise it was like God was speaking to me. I felt like He was telling me it was time to make some personal sacrifices in my life in order to get closer to Him and then in turn become closer to my husband and make this family stronger. That is what I live for. I want to raise these wonderful boys in a God centered house where they see a God centered marriage where we sacrifice for the Lord. I am glued to Pastor's words this morning and he starts talking about sacrifices you have to make in order to be closer to God and I am taking notes as fast as I can write, he is talking about how you have to make sacrifices in every aspect in your life with things that are important to you. In my head I am saying yes I know, stop eating out so you have more money to spend on the boys birthdays and your trip for the anniversary; stay up late at night so you can finish school so you can contribute to the family with a decent income so your kids have more when they get older; you go without so your kids can have what they want. I am thinking, wrong move, I know all this.
Then he starts to talk about the sacrifices you have to make in your marriage if you want to make it work. Ok, he really has my attention now. Marriage is not easy let me tell you! I should start out by saying, as no surprise to my friends, I am VERY strong willed, read hard headed. Cesar and I seem to butt heads a lot on a lot of different things, most of them aren't even that important. So Pastor starts by telling how he wants his wife to check in with him during the day, he wants to make sure she is safe and she doesn't like that but she does it because it's a sacrifice she makes for him. He goes on to talk about 5 or 6 more things they sacrifice for each other. I know you might be thinking that this is a no brainer. It should be but for me I was more worried about losing my independence then submitting to my husband. My marriage was more based on worldly values than God's values. Then it hits me like a ton of bricks............I want to make my husband happy and so that means giving up or sacrificing for him. So I go home and make a list of things that I know makes my husband happy that really don't matter to me. Things we have argued about over and over. See above list, that pretty much sums it up! So I then pray to God to help me find a way to make these things happen and I ask Him what I need to give up to make it work. I am taking a break from everything that does not directly benefit my family, face book; I didn't realize how much time it takes away until today, I might be addicted; PTA, a huge issue in my marriage. It really does take up A LOT of my time and it is not worth it. My husband needs to feel that he comes first and so I will sacrifice to make sure that happens.
I know that this will not be an overnight change, heck it's going to take a week just to get my house under control! I am asking that if you read this that you pray for me and my family as we struggle through this. Pray that I have the will to submit and give up this life in order to live the life I was meant to live. Pray that I get a little better at being a homemaker, well a lot better. Pray that I will continue to sacrifice in order to make this work! Pray for strength for me please!!
I will be bloggin a little more now that FB is on the way back burner so I will keep the 2 people that read this blog informed on my journey! Now I am off to bed to rest up. Tomorrow starts day one of operation: sacarifice for the Lord!
